Are you one of us?

Today we're talking about the F-word. Not the naughty four letter variety. Our word of the day is feminism. By definition, feminism is a collection of movements and ideologies aimed at defining, establishing and defending equal political, economic and social rights for women (thank you Wikipedia).

Women come from a history of oppression, inequality and discrimination. We were once thought of as property. We were once considered too emotional to handle the realities of politics and therefore denied the right to vote. We were once denied educational opportunities. So much has improved for women in the U.S. Our sisters in some parts of the world still face these same issues and we face new challenges like fair treatment in the workplace, domestic violence, and the sexualization and objectification of women by the media.

Feminism can mean something different to you than it does to me and that's okay. The idea is that women and men (yes, men can be feminist) are working to improve life for women. If you believe in that effort, you too are a feminist. The issues facing women today are multifaceted and numerous. Within the feminist movement there is, and should always be, room for varying beliefs and opinions on how best to continue the pursuit and protection of women's rights. The important thing, I believe, is that we keep having the discussion, that we seriously consider who we are as women and what kind of world we want to live in..

Today our guest is Emily Ramser. At the age of 17 Emily is a self-proclaimed feminist. Here are the thoughts she'd like to share with you:

I kick my feet up on to the table and lean back. I keep one hand on the edge of the table to make sure I don’t fall and split my head open on the coffee shop floor. This probably isn’t the smartest idea considering how clumsy I am. I slide my feet off the table and put the chair back on all four its legs.

“You didn't have to hold on to the table. I was standing right behind you, I could’ve caught you, you know?” A friend of a friend says from behind me as I return to sitting normally.

“Eh, I don’t like to be saved. It’s a feminist complex.” I joke and wink at my fellow feminist friend sitting across the table. Her face splits into a grin and a laugh erupts from her diaphragm.

My male friends, on the other hand, do not find the joke to be all that funny.

“Feminists are such hypocrites.” They mutter as they began to mimic their idea of the typical woman. They flutter their hands around their faces, pretending to be too overcome with excitement to even talk.

Of course, I should have known better than to mention the word feminism in my small southern town’s local coffee shop. People here seem to have an aversion to the word. They shy away from it as if it were a tarantula with fangs dripping venom.

“Woman deserve equal rights, but we’re better than men, so you can’t hit us!” One of the boys says in a falsetto voice. I try to recount how many times I have had this exact same conversation with someone before.

People here in my small southern town seem to be under the delusion that giving women equal rights will utterly upset social order. In fact female students from the college and seminary my town hosts seem to be given more discrimination than equality.

Often times friends come to me with stories of how their status as a woman puts them below others both in and out of class. In one of her classes, my friend Erica tries to put forth her own ideas based off the text. However, a particular student in the class feels that she cannot accurately understand the material due to her being a girl and takes it upon himself to explain it to her in front of the entire class. Not only does this humiliate Erica, it prevents her from sharing her ideas and getting feedback from the professor. Time and time again she is kept from sharing her ideas just because of the fact that she is a woman.

Another friend, Elisabeth, has experienced issues when she tried to create a weekly luncheon after church for some of the students. What was supposed to be a group effort turned into the women cook while the men talk type of event. The plan originally was for everybody to take turns prepping and buying food, but the entire task of cooking and shopping ended up falling on Elisabeth’s shoulders. When she refused to continue cooking for them, many of the men stopped talking or even associating with her.

Each girl I talk to seems to have a story of some form of oppression. Yet when they try to speak out against it, they are met with opposition and discrimination. It is a never-ending cycle.

“They’re such hypocrites.” The one with the beard says again. I cannot help but notice how the beard jiggles as he talks, bouncing up and down with the movement of his chin.

“Such hypocrites,” The other one repeats, pushing his glasses up on to the bridge of his nose with his index finger.

To these two boys, feminism is nothing more than a dirty word and a passing fad for all the “hypocrites”. Feminism in the south is swept under the rug and laughed at, not acknowledged for what it is.

I stand up from my chair and go get another cup of coffee while biting my tongue. If I were to retort, they would find it laughable and find some way to use my words to back their argument. I instead turn towards the barista and fork over a few dollars for a refill.

I ask her what she thinks of feminism as she fills my cup. She says that she doesn’t really know much about it. I mix a bit of creamer into my coffee and lean on the counter, beginning to explain a bit about what this “dirty word” really means.

What do you think about Emily's piece? Have you ever been discriminated against because you're a girl?

Thanks to Emily for sharing her perspective. I love Emily's reference to having a "feminist complex". I remember there was a time when I thought 'I don't need a guy to open a door for me...I can do that on my own.' Now I gladly accept such acts of chivalry. Of course I can open my own door but that doesn't mean I have to. I think any act of respect that a gentleman wants to extend to a lady is a great thing.

These two boys Emily mention crack me up. I've met a thousand boys just like them. Feminist want equality and social justice with men that does NOT mean we want to be treated like men. I do not want to pee standing up. I do not think girls should have to register for the draft. And the boys in that coffee shop were right about one thing- I do not want them to hit me.

Emily is also a poet. If you'd like to read more of her work you can find it at: http://chickadeesweetie.wordpress.com/